Our Process  

In Collaborative Divorce™, couples who have decided to end their marriage work with a team of professionals to avoid the arbitrary and uncertain outcomes of court and to achieve a divorce settlement that best meets the specific needs of both parties and their children. It offers a more healthy and effective forum for the resolution of the couple's divorce issues. The goal of Collaborative Divorce™ is to help the couple define and implement the settlement that best meets the needs of their family, and learn new skills for more effective communication, conflict resolution and post-divorce co-parenting. In order to accomplish these goals, three independent professional disciplines work together as a team to integrate the legal, emotional, and financial aspects of divorce. 

The Lake Norman Collaborative Divorce Group assists the parting couple to achieve a divorce that minimizes the negative economic, social, and emotional consequences that undermine families in the traditional adversarial divorce process. By maintaining a primary focus on the needs of children and the welfare of the family overall, the Collaborative Divorce™ approach helps parents provide their children with the emotional support, and healthy co-parenting they need. 

The specific roles of the professionals on the Lake Norman Collaborative Divorce team are: 

The Role of the Collaborative Divorce™ Family Lawyer: 

In the collaborative process, each of the divorcing spouses has a lawyer committed to their needs.  The lawyers agree in advance to set aside adversarial strategies and preparations for trial, while at the same time maintaining their duties of advocacy and loyalty to their individual clients.  They are then free to work toward positive, family-friendly solutions without the burden of preparing for trial.  If the collaborative process is not successful, the collaborative lawyers must withdraw from the case and refer their client to a trial lawyer.    

Each Lawyer will… 

1.      Represent the best interests of his/her respective client while maintaining the overall goals of the Collaborative Process. 

2.      Work with the other attorney and the Collaborative Team to help the parties design the settlement agreement that is most appropriate for their family. 

3.      Facilitate the settlement discussion and incorporate client agreements into the final settlement documents. 

4.      Prepare all the documents that need to be filed with the Court. 

The role of the Collaborative Divorce™ Coach: 

Each spouse works with a divorce coach to provide a safety net for conversations that must take place as a part of the divorce process as well as create and develop the new co-parenting relationship.  This process helps spouses to recognize the end of their marriage and to move on to create fulfilling lives post divorce. When children are involved, divorce coaches teach divorcing parents how to best protect themselves and their children from the risks associated with divorce in the present and to look to the future needs of their family.   

In individual and joint meetings the coaches work with the couple to: 

1.      Identify and prioritize the concerns of each person. 

2.   Make effective use of conflict resolution and communication skills. 

3.      Develop effective co-parenting skills. 

4.   Work collaboratively with the couple, their attorneys and the other involved professionals to improve communication, reduce misunderstandings and solve problems as they come up. 

The Role of the Collaborative Divorce™ Financial Specialist: 

The financial specialist works with the divorcing couple to organize and understand the family finances.  Divorcing couples will receive assistance with handling immediate financial issues and long-range planning.  All details of the family finances are reviewed, and viable financial options are presented to the couple and their attorneys for consideration.  The financial specialist is a neutral party trained to work with couples on budgeting and planning for the future.  A sound financial plan is an essential part of a successful collaborative divorce.   

The Collaborative Team Financial Specialist works with the couple to: 

1.      Provide on-going, practical financial guidance, planning, support, and budgeting guidance throughout the divorce process. 

2.      Assist with the discovery process by gathering and organizing documentation and information relating to the parties' incomes, expenses, assets, and debts. 

3.   Make sure that both parties have a thorough understanding of their current financial situation. 

4.      Educate the clients regarding the short and long-term economic consequences of settlement plans being considered so as to enable them to make fully informed decisions and choose what is most appropriate for their situation. 

The Role of the Collaborative Divorce™ Child Specialist: 

The child specialist is a neutral third party whose job is to understand the situation from the perspective of the child(ren) and to advocate for their interests.  The child specialist maintains this focus throughout the divorce process and is considered the child coach throughout the child’s life, if the need arises.  The child specialist helps to make sure that concerns of the child(ren) are not overshadowed by other considerations.  The child specialist provides an opportunity for the child(ren) to ask questions and to identify problems or worries.  The child specialist then provides information and suggestions to parents and to the team in the development of the parenting plan.   

The Collaborative Divorce™ Child Specialist will work with the children and the parents to: 

1.      Provide each child with an opportunity to voice his/her concerns regarding the divorce. 

2.      Provide the parents with information and guidance to help their children through this process.