Frequently Asked Questions 

1.  What is Collaborative Divorce™  

Collaborative Divorce™ is a revolutionary new process that brings the best of legal, emotional and financial wisdom to the process of separation and divorce in an amicable and cost-effective fashion.  The multi-disciplinary model offers a process of separation and divorce that protects the dignity, integrity and long-term best interests of all family members.   

Most divorcing spouses are also parents.  Research has shown that to children it is not the divorce itself that is the most destructive element but rather the distress, conflict and loss that can occur as a function of the divorce process. Collaborative Divorce™ safeguards children’s needs. It creates stability and effective planning throughout the divorce process to insure good working relationships between their parents post divorce.   

Collaborative Divorce™ is a reasonable approach to divorce based on three principles: 

• A pledge not to go to court 

• An honest exchange of information by both spouses 

• A solution that takes into account the highest priorities of both adults and their children. 

2. Is Collaborative Divorce™ for us?  

Collaborative Divorce™ is the healthiest divorce model because it appropriately addresses all of the settlement issues and helps the parties develop more effective ways of dealing with one another. Collaborative Divorce™ is the best choice for:  

• A separating or divorcing couple who is willing to work honestly and collaboratively towards a fair resolution to all legal, financial and emotional issues in their case. 
• Those seeking a respectful divorce. 
• Couples who are willing to compromise.  
• Couples willing to listen to advice 
• Couples who want to make informed/educated decisions. 
• Couples who are concerned about containing the financial and emotional costs of divorce. 
• Couples who have children and want to make certain their needs are addressed. 
• Couples who want to minimize the conflict that often accompanies divorce and are willing to do what is necessary to be successful in this regard 
• Couples who want a confidential process without adversarial attorneys and without going to court. 
• Couples who are concerned about their post-divorce relationship with each other and are willing to address co-parenting issues. 

3. Why Collaborative Divorce™?  

Collaborative Divorce™ differs from other means of resolution in that ultimate control of the situation remains with the parties.  With the assistance of the team members, each party is given the means and forum they need to resolve their issues without having to cede that control to a judge or arbiter, someone who knows a lot less about the parties and their children.  Further, it allows the parties to maintain confidentiality and control of the issues that exist within the family rather than having those issues made public through a litigated dispute.  The collaborative process also gives them a forum to begin new ways of communication with each other that will hopefully carry forward after a settlement is reached and avoid the bitterness and disappointment that so often follows a litigated case.  Further, when there are children involved, the communications skills learned through the collaborative process will hopefully allow the parents to more effectively co-parent their children once the process is completed. 

4.  What are the Benefits of Collaborative Divorce™? 

• Creates a cooperative environment where needs and concerns of each party can be heard and met 
• Addresses and emphasizes the children’s needs and maximizes the outcome for positive involvement of both parents 
• Employs problem-solving techniques taught by coaches that fosters efficient resolution of issues 
• Allows couples to retain control of the separation process and a measure of privacy 
• Provides the flexibility to craft agreement together, build confidence and come to consensus around the agreement 
• Contains all costs and avoids court. 
• Offers the only model that provides a structure for emotional, financial and legal guidance and support 
• Requires timely disclosure of relevant financial information that makes the collaborative process efficient 
• Helps preserve respectful relationships between divorcing parties following separation and divorce 
• Helps the newly configured family begin new lives in a more hopeful and healthy way 
• Addresses current financial issues and assists with long-range planning for the future  

5.  What is the difference between Collaborative Divorce™ and mediation?  

Mediation is a very helpful process that many people do utilize to achieve a settlement agreement.  Mediation, however, does not require that each party commit to a full disclosure of assets and does not require that each party have adequate counsel before participating in mediation.  The mediator has no authority to force the parties into an agreement, but also does not develop a relationship with the parties like the collaborative team does.  Mediation can be abused by one individual much easier than the collaborative process and can result in unfair or unintended consequences.  

6. Why does Collaborative Divorce™ use so many professionals?  

Collaborative Divorce™ allows each professional to focus on issues relevant to their expertise. The concept of "the liberation of delegation" means that any professional, rather than struggling to address an issue that is outside their specialty, immediately refers the client to an appropriate colleague for assistance. This keeps the process moving along and helps to control costs. 

7. How much does Collaborative Divorce™ cost?  

Although we stress that clients should not select this approach simply as a low cost alternative, experience across the country suggests that savings over a normal adversarial divorce are in the range of 20 - 40%. This assumes that the adversarial divorce is done with an out of court settlement. When a contested case actually goes to court for a judicial ruling, the cost can be much higher. 

8. What kind of information is disclosed and what documents are signed in the Collaborative Divorce™ process?  

Both sides sign a binding agreement to fully and immediately disclose all documents and information related to the issues. Undermining behaviors, such as keeping secrets, hiding information and tactics that delay the process, are not permitted. All information is shared openly. Team members and clients work together to create win-win solutions for all members of the family. 

9.  Why is Collaborative Divorce™ such an effective settlement process?  

The Collaborative Divorce™ attorneys take an enlightened and non-traditional approach to helping their clients. They understand that to effectively assist the client, they must help the entire family. A Collaborative Divorce™ lawyer does not take advantage of mistakes inadvertently made by the other side. They expect and encourage the highest good-faith problem-solving behavior from their clients and themselves. 

In any family law case, there are always issues involved that do not fall within any one of the legal arenas that trial attorneys must work within.  When the parties are communicating openly with each other about those issues, it becomes much easier to craft inventive and creative ways to address those issues, while still achieving what each party is legally entitled to expect.  When each party trusts the other to participate fairly and honestly, the issues most important to the parties can be addressed, rather than just those arguments or issues that are most likely to achieve a successful result at trial. 

Collaborative Divorce™ was designed to deal more effectively with divorce issues, while maintaining an absolute commitment to settlement. Each party receives expert legal advice, assuring that both have legal advocates available throughout the process.